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MikesOwnLittleWorld

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You Know World

This is one of the more funnier pages on the site. This is a page like "You know you're smart when..." or "You know you've played too much Mario games when..." Kind of like that. Let's begin!

* - NEW!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE A NERD WHEN...

  • You think playing the accordion makes you look "hot."
  • In high school, you were voted "Most Likely to Date a Kitchen Appliance."
  • You own an extensive collection of bunny slippers.
  • You take your mom to the prom.
  • You alphabetize your sock drawer.
  • You look forward to dental appointments.
  • Your idea of excitement is counting the number of dimples on a golf ball.
  • Not even your mom gives you a good-night kiss.
  • If you were a car, you'd be a beige station wagon.
  • On a scale of 1-10, you're a -2.
  • * You want to hang out with your girlfriend/boyfriend at the comic book store.
  • * You wish you had an action figure that looks like your girlfriend/boyfriend.
  • * Your idea of Friday night fun is yodeling in a kilt while riding a unicycle.
  • * High school football players always beat you up whenever they're angry or they lose.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE LAZY WHEN...

  • You take a coffee break between naps.
  • You have a doorman open the refrigerator for you.
  • You only chase dead things.
  • People can't tell if you're sleeping or dead.
  • * You think exercising is yawning, breathing, dunking doughnuts, alarm-clcok smashing, chewing, spider-crushing, and a quick nap.
  • * You have a doorman open the refrigerator for you.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FAT WHEN...

  • You have this tremendous urge to graze.
  • Waiters bring you the dessert menu first.
  • Your new house is a blimp hangar.
  • You sweat butter.
  • You turn over, it registers on the Richter scale.
  • A NASA satellite starts orbiting you.
  • Someone tries to climb your north slope.
  • You wonder if you still have feet.
  • Even your mom starts calling you "Moby."
  • Your picture is posted in "all-you-can-eat" restaurants.
  • The phone company gives you your own area code.
  • Every time you go to the beach, the tide comes in.
  • You sit around the house, you actually sit around the house.
  • Your cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
  • Your driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
  • You dance, you make the band skip.
  • You have smaller fat people orbiting around you.
  • You have to put your belt on with a boomerang.
  • You turn around, people throw you a welcome-back party.
  • You go to the ocean, the whales start singing "We Are Family."
  • You go in a restaurant, you look at the menu and say, "Okay."
  • You fall over, you rock yourself to sleep trying to get up again.
  • You can't even jump to a conclusion.
  • You're rocking, you're not in a rocking chair.
  • You have a sweater made for you that says, "Wide Load."
  • You set your scale back five pounds. Maybe ten.
  • You give birth to another chin.
  • Even your toe if overweight.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN...

  • You can play connect-the-dots on your liver spots.
  • You went to an antique auction... three people bid on you.
  • You used to put cream in your coffee; now you put formaldehyde.
  • You were married, Elvis Presley was in his mother's stomach.
  • You're still growing hair, but only in your nose.
  • You sprinkle tenderizer on your applesauce.
  • The airport people ask to check your bags, and you're not carrying any.
  • Your birth certificate is written in hieroglyphics.
  • Your birth certificate expired.
  • Your Social Security number is 1.
  • You got the first copy of the Ten Commandments.
  • Your memory is in black and white.
  • You were told to act your age, you almost died.
  • You were young, rainbows were black and white.
  • You were born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.
  • You lie about your age.
  • Your favorite late night show is the 6:00 news.
  • One of your past birthday card signature will be worth alot of money.
  • Your birthday cake collapsed under the weight of the candles, and it sets off the smoke alarm.
  • Turkey buzzards circle you.
  • You don't wanna consider aging gracefully.
  • Your age is compared to an oak tree.
  • On your last birthday, your walker was decorated with streamers.
  • People ask you what life was like before fax machines and television.
  • You wheeze out your birthday candles.
  • You begin to receive "large print" birthday cards.
  • * You remember when Baskin-Robbins only had two flavors!
  • * You knew Bigfoot when he wore booties!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE UGLY WHEN...

  • You were little, your mom used to tie a pork chop around your neck to get the dog to play with you.
  • Your dentist treats you by mail order.
  • You're at the beach, cats try to bury you.
  • You looked in a mirror and your reflection ran away.
  • Your mother used to feed you with a slingshot.
  • You turned Medusa to stone.
  • You made an onion cry.
  • You get in the tub, the water jumps out.
  • Your pillow cries at night.
  • Your shadow quit.
  • You joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."
  • You didn't get hit with the ugly stick, you got hit with the whole tree!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE STUPID (maybe) WHEN...

  • Someone has to dig for your IQ.
  • You sell your car for gas money.
  • The school employees had to burn your school down to get you out of third grade.
  • Someone asked you if you wanted to play one on one, you say, "Okay, but what are the teams?"
  • You tried to steal a free sample.
  • You put a ruler in your bed to see how long you sleep.
  • You thought a "quarterback" was a refund.
  • You sit on the TV and watch the couch.
  • You throw a rock at the ground and miss.
  • Someone tells you Christmas is just around the corner and you go looking for it.
  • You took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
  • You once tried to raise your IQ by standing on a chair.
  • It took you three years to learn how to breathe.
  • * You don't know the law of gravity.
  • * You failed all your classes, even Recess and Lunch!
  • * Space aliens landed on Earth, they'd report no intelligent ilfe on the planet.
  • * You've got the IQ of a turnip.
  • * You consider a career as a crash dummy.